Ancient Greeks recognised 7 morphs of love, considering love itself -as a word- incapable of fully describing each possible situation and relationship. Perhaps it would be a shock for them to know the word Love is, nowadays, used for both our love for a warm cup of coffee and a beloved friend. Categorizing different types of Love in such a way led Greeks to have a deeper understanding of motives, needs and expectations and enabled them to explain a relationship in a much clearer way.
1. Eros
Lovers of ancient Greek mythology might find this name familiar as the word is related to Eros, the God of fertility and Aphrodite’s son. It represents the sexual passion and desire, therefore connecting this type of love to something more physical. Someone erotic, is someone who tends to arouse sexual love or desire. This type of love was as neutral as described. It could be perceived as both negative and positive, depending on its usage from the individual, as Eros was described as something dangerous, irrational, that can take over you and possess you. That kind of madness was brought upon someone when shot with one of Cupid’s arrows. The arrow made you “fall” in love madly -as Paris did with Helen, causing the Trojan war and Troy’s downfall-. In modern Greek we use the word Έρωτας (Erotas), which is another word for Love, but stronger, and focused on the romantic relationships.
2. Philia (friendship)
Phidias Showing the Frieze of the Parthenon to His Friends by Lawrence Alma-Tadema (1868)
As someone can easily guess, this type of love represents the bond between friends. Though, to Ancient Greeks, Philia was far more precious and important than Eros as it expressed a special brotherly bond. It also came down to something more spiritual and emotional since it was expressed through showing loyalty, sharing emotions, and sacrificing. It is considered the highest form of love and it concerned many Greek philosophers. Aristotle analyzed it in his work Nicomachean Ethics, writing that there are three forms of Philia; friendships of pleasure, friendships of utility and friendships of the general good someone possesses. Plato believed the strongest friendship to be the one between lovers; Philia as a result from Eros. Lust and sexual passion transformed into a shared need for a deeper understanding of oneself and the world, creating a want for philosophy. Friends seek a life of truth, mutual guidance and relativity. The complete opposite of Philia is Phobia.
3. Agape (Αγάπη: Love)
Agape could be described as an altruistic love. It represents a selfless love that goes beyond family members and friends and includes the world, nature or God -Christianity made a wide usage of this word to spread its message-. It is described as sacrificial, free of benefits and exists no matter the circumstances. In Latin it was translated as Caritas, which is the origin of the familiar word Charity -another word, used widely by the Church-. In modern Greek, Agape is the word that is used for the word Love, suitable for all types of love.
4. Storge
Storge is a familial love. It resembles Philia but focuses on the almost instinctive love parents have for their children. Storge is more exclusive, unilateral. It is a love that is born out of familiarity, shared experiences, and dependency and lacks an interest in personal qualities, in contrast to Eros and Philia.
5. Pragma
Pragma was described as the mature love that results from long married couples. It includes a deep understanding, the ability to compromise for the well-being of the relationship, making it more of a practical love for those with long-term interests. In modern Greek the literal translation of pragma is ‘thing/item/something material’ whereas the ancient word had a wider range of meanings. Pragma used to be pretty common when arranged marriages were a normality and can be seen nowadays as well, usually on celebrity or political pairings (and on countries where arranged marriages are still part of the culture).
6. Ludus
Ludus is the kind of playful love that aims on the fun. It is focused on joyful activities, seducing, flirting or dancing and remains uncommitted however long it lasts. It is not to be confused with Eros in which the motives differ. It seems to be more relevant to Philia.
7. Philautia
Philautia refers to the self-love which could either be unhealthy or healthy depending on the amount of it. The first leads to self-obsession and hubris (which, in Ancient Greek, meant placing oneself above the greater good, or even worse, above the Gods) that resulted to nemesis or destruction. Some relate it to the Greek myth of Narcissus (the origin of the psychiatric disorder narcissism), a hunter from Thespiai that was known for his beauty and rejected any kind of romantic gestures, till he eventually saw his reflection in a river, fell in love with his image and stared at it for the remainder of his life. Healthy self-love, however, is related to high self-esteem and self-respect and enables you to love wider. The last one is a pretty common mindset, nowadays, since many of us tend to say what stands before loving someone else is loving yourself.
